What Is The Secret Behind Motivating Your Child?

Have you ever looked at your child and think "If only I can push one button to make him 'wake up' and do his work, that will be great."

The good news is: it is very possible and I have done it couple of times. The bad news is: each child has his own time span in achieving this. Some may be very fast. Some may be very slow.

In my day to day tuition classes, there are two things I want to achieve:

1. Help the child in his weaker areas
2. Push the child bit by bit towards the "I want to do my work properly without people nagging at me."

There are generally four stages a child will go through:

Level 1: I don't want to do it.
Level 2: I think I want to do it.
Level 3: I want to do it and I think I can do it.
Level 4: I want to do it because I can do it.

Apart from marking and analysing my students' work, I seek to upgrade the students' level of motivation during each tuition session.

I have a P6 student with me since she was end P4. She had low self-efficacy (meaning she thinks that she cannot do many things) and it was affecting her work. She just refused to try hard enough to achieve the breakthrough. She was borderline passing and failing in her exams then. In her recent Prelims, she got 2 'A's and 2 'B's. I am proud of her because she has improved a lot compared to Day 1.

I am going to use her as a case study for today's write up because I brought her from Level 1 to Level 3 within a span of two years. It was really hard work.


Level 1: I don't want to do it.

Betty (not her real name) came to me before her P4 final year exams and her parents engaged me to help her on Math and Science. She was very quiet and did not bother to ask any questions. The first few lessons were mostly me talking and she just sat there and doodled on the worksheets.

After the first few weeks, I found out that she had very low self-efficacy and refused to try any questions that was slightly beyond her capability. This is bad because she will never improve if she don't try on the slightly more difficult questions.

In my tuition logbook, her scores were always very low and that was scary because she had very little time before her PSLE. There was a lot of content to catch up for both Math and Science.

Transition to Level 2
To upgrade her to Level 2, I told her one success story each week. Each story is always about a child/animal who refuses to try and has big successes after the child/animal decided to try.

My logbook record: "Betty displays no response to the stories."

It was a very trying period to me. There was no visible results for at least 5 weeks.

Then, the breakthrough came.

One day, while I was explaining some science concepts to her. Suddenly, she asked me, "Do you think I can do it?"

That was the breakthrough I was looking for.

I said firmly, "I believe you can do it."

From then on, she tried a bit harder each time she hit a difficult question. Add that all up over a long period of time. Viola! A big jump in her perseverance and results. 

Transition to Level 3
To transit her to Level 3, I celebrated small successes with her. Every time she overcome a difficult question, I would praise her for her effort. Sometimes, it was a smile. Sometimes, it was just me beaming with pride in front of her.

After about 9 months, she finally asked me for more homework during one of the lessons.

That was a breakthrough because she had moved from 'not willing to try' to 'I want to do and practise more'.

This is her current stage now. Time is against us because she will be taking her PSLE this Thursday.

Transition to Level 4
If she stays in tuition with me, I will try this out with her: Setting goals and self-checking on the milestones.

This is the most time-consuming phrase. It takes a lot of coaching and guidance. It takes a lot of 'hands-off' and trust. It takes a lot of rapport built over the last few years. This is a shifu-disciple relationship.


Last thing before I end: Parents! You must strive on! Sometimes, it takes a long time of incubation before your child achieve a breakthrough. If motivation can be built overnight, we will not have so many unmotivated kids around us now.

Stay tuned!

Cheers!
Mr Danny Lim

Math Heuristic: Systematic Listing

Hi all,

Another Math Video this week. In this video, I will be touching on Systematic Listing. The key method here is 'branching'. Have fun!

If-If Heuristic: Solving It In Pictures

Hi!

The video below shows how to solve 'If-If' type of questions in Math. Many children still struggle at solving this type of questions in P6. I hope your child can benefit from the video.

Have fun!

The Hidden Trap: 3 Stages Of Giving Up On Your Child

Recently, a parent told me that she tutors her own child and saves a lot of money on engaging a private tutor. Her child is in Primary 2 and her SA1 results are:

English: 81%
Math: 84%
Chinese: 72%

I know the child personally and she is seriously underperforming. She is bright and mature for her age. She likes challenges and is strong in her Math thinking skills.

You heard it in my blog before and I will say it again: Proper foundation in P1 and P2 is crucial for your child. Do not fall into the trap of taking it easy in these two years.

It might be shocking to you but many parents actually go through three stages before giving up on their children.


Stage 1: She is Band 2 in Primary 1 and 2. It should be fine.

At this stage, the parent feels that the child is coping well and very limited guidance is given to the child. The parent feels that the child should have 'some childhood' and resists to enrol the child in extra lessons.

The child scores well and most of his/her time is squandered away.

Primary 1 and 2 syllabuses are easy to MASTER and should be mastered before the child goes to Primary 3. The child should at least score high 80s for all subjects at these levels.


Stage 2: My child is struggling! I must enrol her in more enrichment programs!

This usually happens in Primary 3. At this level, there is an additional subject (Science). English and Math have also become SIGNIFICANTLY harder.

I pity the child at this stage. The parent goes into panic mode and starts to enrol the child in various enrichment programs. The intention of the parent is good. However, this is also the point where most of the interest in learning was destroyed.

The child is already overloaded with a new subject and the increased difficulty of the other subjects. On top of this, the parent still loads the child with more classes.

The child is a child and will not think like an adult. She will go for the enrichment classes and secretly resents them. In addition, it was the parent who first instil the concept of 'It's okay' into the child. The child is confused and does not understand the change in the attitude of the parent.

At this point, the child's results drops because she is experiencing burnout. With the drop in results, the parent enrols the child in even more tuition classes. Thus, a vicious cycle ensues.


Stage 3: My child is not the 'studious type'. No amount of tuition can help her.

This is the stage where the parent gives up on the child. The child is not improving even though she is going for multiple enrichment classes.

Both the child and the parent are tired. The parent convinced himself/herself that the child is not inclined towards studying and stops all enrichment lessons.

The child got the message and also gave up on herself. She just drags her days along and hopes for a pass in PSLE.


It is very sad. Rewind a few years back and give the child a proper foundation in the subjects. Be a little more involved and proactive. Don't you think there will be another ending to this story?

I am not advocating that all children must go for enrichment classes. However, we have to be realistic. It is simply too difficult to meet good and passionate school teachers to take your child to the next level. The only alternative is private tuition.

Actually, I believe strongly that parents are the best teachers if they know the syllabus and content well. They have the highest probability to have 'teachable moments' with their children.Some parents are very good in teaching their children. However, these parents are also rare. 


If your child is in P1 or P2, be more involved in your child's education. Lay the foundation properly for your child. It will help your child in her studies in P3 and P4.

If your child is in P3 or P4, do not panic when your child's results are dropping. Encourage your child. Speak positively to him/her. Find a good tutor to help him/her. The most important thing at this stage is quality in tuition is better than quantity in tuition.

If your child is in P5 or P6. Help your child to set goals for PSLE and direct him/her to do his/her own self-study.


Remember this: Never give up on your child. 

What Is Your Learning Culture At Home? - Part 2

This is a follow-up from my previous post. How can you develop a positive learning culture at home?


4. Real life application

This is linked to constructing meaning for learning. WHY do we learn? We learn in order to solve real life problems.

When I do the topic of Money (Math) with my child, I bring him to the supermarket and give him some money. I give him a list of things to buy and tells him to check if the money is enough.

Then, he needs to find all the items and their prices. Next, he adds them up. This helps him to understand how expensive or how cheap the products are and if we have enough money for them.

Through this activity, he learned to apply his knowledge about money and the addition of money.


5. Extension of Knowledge

Sometimes, Zenith (my P1 child) will be very interested in one topic. This is when I offer to extend the knowledge with him.

For example, he was learning about materials in Science (through a game on my tablet) when he asked a question about the elements in the materials. So, I started a side project with him to list down the first 50 elements in the periodic table.

You will not believe how interested he is in this topic. He bugs me everyday to help him research on the elements.


6. Topic Linking

Topic linking is extremely important for Science and Math. 

The entire Science syllabus is based on linking the basics of Science together. 

Living things are linked to the six main groups of animals. Non-living things are linked to the materials. Cycles are broken down into life cycles and matter. Matter is then further linked to water.

The entire Science syllabus is a network of topics.

Apart from content linking in Science, it is also important to link the process skills together. You learn observing before you learn comparing. Then, you learn classifying.




Cultivating a good learning culture at home will reap huge benefits in your children's future.

Stay tuned for the next post!

What Is Your Learning Culture At Home? - Part 1

Why is it that the same lessons yield different results from different students?

It is frustrating.

When a lesson does not resonate with a student, it bothers me. I will then spend countless nights reflecting on the cause of this phenomenon.

What is the missing piece?

And yet, the exact methods and lessons I used on my sons all yield the similar results. What was the thing that I did right with them?

After mulling on it for weeks, I narrowed it down to a single factor: the culture at home.

I have a standard template on preparing my children for learning.

1. Construct meaning way in the work before actual learning
2. Set aside specific time for specific learning
3. Establish learning goals for each learning task
4. Apply the learning to real life
5. Extend the learning into projects if the child is very interested in the topic
6. Link the learning to the next topic


1. Constructing Meaning

If your child asks you “Why do we need to study this?”, what would be your answer? It will get harder to answer as the child grows up.

For example, I always asked myself the reason for learning History when I was in Secondary One. No one could answer my question then. It would be much easier for me to learn History if someone gives me a reason to learn it.

It is much easier to answer a child when he starts to ask the reason behind to learn basic arithmetic. The earlier you give meaning to your child’s learning, the less struggle they will have when they grow up.

Weeks before I start the Math topic on measurements with Zenith (my eldest boy), I asked him about the length and height of many things at home. 

I gave him real life problems. One of the questions I asked him was “Will that shelf fit into this space here?”

This creates a gap in his learning. Instinctively, he would want to solve this problem. Over the next few days, I saw him using various things to measure the shelf.

Then, at the peak of his curiosity, I introduced the Math lesson on measurements.


2. Specific Time for Specific Learning

My timing for learning at home is 8pm everyday after their shower. I will set up the space and get ready for lessons at the same timing.

The learning usually takes about 45 minutes.
Once you have a standard time set up, there is no ambiguity and there is no power struggle. We do work at 8pm, pronto.


3. Learning Goals

I always communicate the learning goals to my children BEFORE the lessons.

Following the example on measurements, the learning goal was to be able to measure the length and height of objects accurately.

After the lesson, the child must be able to complete a standard worksheet on his own.


PSLE is just around the corner. For those parents with P6 children, have you set up a study routine at home?

Share your problems in the comments section and let’s all support each other in educating our children.

Watch out for Part 2 of this blog as I share about Real Life Application, Extension of Knowledge and Topic Linking.

P3/P4 Math Heuristics (Level 3 Lesson 1)

Good day to you!

The term break is just round the corner and I hope you have planned meaningful activities for your children.

Today, I am posting a video lesson on Math. It teaches the model method (one of the key heuristics) for solving word problems. Establishing a good foundation in model drawing is important in P3/P4 because the questions will get more complicated in P5/P6. Enjoy the lesson! 

(You can change the quality of the video by clicking on the gear icon on the bottom right corner of the video.)

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