Today, I will be sharing on self-discipline. If your child has self-discipline, he will be able to make many good decisions. In addition, this trait of self-discipline is beneficial to him even after he grows up.
During my stint as a teacher a year ago, the children who did very well (top 3 positions in the level) were the ones who had a very high level of self-discipline.
Self-discipline is directly proportional to achievement.
If this is the case, we need to understand what is self-discipline and how we can help our children cultivate it.
What is Self-Discipline
Truthfully, I read many books/blogs on self-discipline. Many did not define self-discipline properly and offers very hazy tips on how to build self-discipline.
In this blog post, I am going to define it very clearly to you and suggest 3 things you can do today to help your child instil self-discipline immediately.
Self-discipline starts with self-awareness. Then, it blossoms into self-control. From self-control, you will have self-management.
To be self-aware, you can try asking your child
- What are you doing?
- How much time have you spent on it?
- Why are you spending so much time on it?
To practise self-control, you can ask your child
- Is this the right thing to do now?
- What should we be doing now?
- How can I help you to start doing the right thing?
To practise self-management, ask your child
- How should we plan the revision for your exam?
- How much time should be spent on playing and studying?
- What are the results you are aiming for?
You have to ask yourself which stage your child is in now and then help him progress from there.
Before we move on, I need to clarify. Self-discipline is not obedience. To obey parents' instructions is an act of obedience and it is not self-discipline. Self-discipline is a higher level than that. The child does the right thing without being instructed to.
Biggest enemy today
The biggest enemy to self-discipline in today's world is instant gratification.
We are too used to having what we want immediately. This short term thinking is very permeated in our society that many people have forgotten long term planning.
This is very dangerous. It is always easy for the child to choose the path of least resistance. Without guidance, the child will continuously choose the easy way. And this will become a habit. Then, it will be very difficult to unlearn this habit.
Short-term gain can cause long-term pain.
To help your child face this enemy, I suggest 3 things you can do today.
3 things you can do now
1. Visual feedback
- take two empty jars
- ask your child to put one red bean in one jar for each minute spent on playing and one green bean in another jar for each minute spent on working
- you can count the beans before giving them to your child
- compare the jars everyday and ask your child what his thoughts are on the number of red beans and green beans
2. Plan and commit
- plan your child's revision/work with him (not for him)
- offer constructive advice (like a consultant)
- revisit the plan weekly to give feedback on what is working and what is not
- short bursts of work here is more advisable than long periods of studying
3. Tell a story
- tell a story on choosing the right thing to do, even when you did not like it
- Grasshopper and The Ant
- The one-legged football player
(http://elitedaily.com/sports/this-one-legged-soccer-players-story-proves-hard-work-and-perseverance-make-anything-possible-video/)
- The little red hen
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smspKuKqt5c)
- Ask questions like
- What was the right thing to do
- Was it easy to do the right thing?
- What will you do if you are him?
- How can we apply this to our life right now?
Instilling self-discipline is not easy and it is a very long-term thing. However, it will help your child a lot in his life next time if he has this self-discipline in him.
I talk about self-discipline whenever I can with my tuition students. I share stories and hope they will be inspired to strive for excellence.
I believe all children want to seek out the best in himself. It is how we nurture and guide them to do it that is most lacking these days.
I hope this post has been helpful to you. Please click on SHARE on Facebook to share this post with your friends.
(Sign up for my newsletter at http://eepurl.com/WDj6j for monthly tips on how to motivate your child to study. A free ebook on writing is included in the newsletter.)
No comments
Post a Comment